Peak Performers by Tiffany Uman

How to speak up with confidence

February 12, 2024

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Your voice matters.

Regardless of title, seniority level or years of experience, you owe it to yourself to share your voice with confidence.

Whether through meetings, negotiations, or casual conversations, speaking up allows you to assert your presence, contribute value, and influence outcomes.

Yet, for many, this can be a daunting challenge, filled with anxiety, overthinking and self-doubt.

→ "What if I say the wrong thing?"

→ "What if I get judged?"

→ "What if I get challenged?"

Staying silent is not the answer.

In fact, this will only further minimize your impact amongst your peers and senior leaders who will turn their attention elsewhere.

Speaking up with confidence allows you to open up more opportunities, build your credibility, reinforce your relationships and demonstrate conviction in your beliefs. This skill goes beyond mere communication; it is about asserting your ideas, defending your viewpoints, and contributing to the collective knowledge of your team or company.

It is what distinguishes proactive leaders from passive participants. It is the tool through which innovation is voiced, challenges are addressed, and consensus is reached.

For peak performers, this skill serves as a catalyst for positive change and progress.

"Speak up. Believe in yourself. Take risks.” - Sheryl Sandberg

When you feel empowered to express your ideas without fear of judgment or reprisal, it fosters a culture of openness and creativity. This environment encourages diverse viewpoints, facilitating problem-solving and innovation that can propel you and your organization forward.

Here's how.

Mistakes holding you back

You must remember that choosing not to say anything still sends an important message.

This will lead others to make assumptions about you and question whether you have value to contribute.

Ultimately, you are putting the ball in their court which removes your control in this situation. This can easily lead to a slippery slope where the reality of how you want to be perceived is drastically different than what you hoped for.

With that in mind, here are 5 watch-outs to overcome when speaking up and what to do instead:

→ Underpreparation: A significant hindrance to speaking up with confidence is entering a discussion without a firm grasp of the subject matter or a clear understanding of your own stance. This lack of preparation can lead to hesitation, vague responses, or inaccuracies that quickly erode your self-assurance and the credibility you hold with your audience. To combat this, invest time in researching the topic at hand, reflecting on your views, and organizing your thoughts prior to the conversation. This will enhance the clarity and impact of your contributions.

→ Overthinking: The trap of overthinking can immobilize even the most knowledgeable professionals. When we dwell too much on potential outcomes, reactions, or the fear of saying something wrong, we inadvertently create a barrier to spontaneous and genuine interaction. This excessive rumination can prevent us from seizing opportunities to speak up, share our insights, or ask questions. To move past overthinking, practice mindfulness and grounding techniques that keep you present in the conversation, and remind yourself that not every communication needs to be flawless to be effective.

→ Seeking perfection: Closely related to overthinking is the pursuit of perfection in our communication. Many of us hesitate to speak up for fear of not finding the exact words or the ideal moment, leading to missed opportunities to contribute meaningful perspectives. Effective communication is about making connections and sharing ideas, not about perfect delivery. Encourage yourself to participate even when conditions are not ideal, as each attempt at speaking up strengthens your confidence and refines your communication skills.

→ Ignoring your voice: Doubting the value of your perspective or underestimating the contribution your unique insights can make to a discussion can significantly diminish your willingness to speak up. This self-censorship not only deprives the conversation of diverse viewpoints but also stunts your personal and professional growth. Recognize that your experiences, knowledge, and opinions add significant value to the conversation and holding back on sharing them is doing yourself and your company a disservice.

→ Avoiding feedback: This downfall, especially when feedback is constructive, can be a critical obstacle to developing confident communication skills. Feedback is a powerful tool for growth, offering insights into how our messages are received and areas where we can improve. By embracing feedback rather than shying away from it, we open ourselves to learning and development that can enhance our confidence and effectiveness as communicators.

3 strategies to speak up with confidence

1/ Prepare and practice

Preparation lays the groundwork for confidence by ensuring you are well-versed in the topic at hand and clear about the message you wish to convey.

It is by taking action in which you build confidence, not the other way around.

Begin with a deep dive into the subject matter, gathering facts and data that not only support your viewpoint but also anticipate potential questions or counterarguments.

This level of preparation is particularly crucial in work settings where discussions can pivot quickly, and the ability to provide informed, accurate responses is valued.

Tailoring your message to the audience's interests and the context—whether it is a team meeting, a project update, or a pitch to stakeholders—ensures that your communication is not just heard, but also resonates.

The next phase, practice, transforms preparation into performance. This is where you breathe life into your preparation, turning data and points into compelling communication.

Start by outlining the key messages you want to deliver, then practice articulating them aloud. This can be in a low-stakes environment, such as in front of a trusted colleague or mentor who can provide constructive feedback.

Focus on clarity in your delivery, the pacing of your speech, and maintaining a calm, steady presence. Tools like recording your practice sessions or speaking in front of a mirror can offer valuable insights into your body language, facial expressions, and overall delivery, allowing you to adjust and improve.

Here are 5 action steps to adopt:

→ Outline key points: Before any speaking opportunity, distill your message into clear, concise points. This will serve as your roadmap, ensuring you cover all necessary information without overwhelming your audience or losing focus. Focus on a maximum of 3 core messages at any one time for ease of delivery and receptivity.

→ Tailor your message: Consider your audience's background, knowledge level, and interests. Adjust your language, examples, and emphasized points accordingly to ensure your message is engaging and relevant.

→ Practice delivery: Rehearse your points in a setting that mimics the actual environment as closely as possible. Leverage video recording to critique and refine your delivery, focusing on aspects like tone, pace, and engagement.

→ Seek feedback: Practice in front of others who can provide honest, constructive feedback. Use their insights to fine-tune your message and delivery.

→ Engage in mental rehearsal: Actively think about the speaking opportunity, imagining yourself delivering your points confidently and receiving positive engagement from your audience. This mental practice can boost your confidence and reduce anxiety.

By dedicating time to both prepare and practice, you equip yourself with the knowledge and skills needed to speak up confidently in any professional setting. This approach not only enhances your ability to communicate well but also positions you as a credible, confident contributor.

2/ Cultivate a positive mindset

Having the right mindset is pivotal when aiming to speak up with confidence, especially within a work context where the stakes can feel particularly high.

A positive mindset shifts your focus away from self-doubt and fear of judgment and moves towards the value your contributions can bring to a discussion or project.

Peak performers consciously focus on converting their negative energy into excitement.

For instance, envision a scenario where you are presenting a new idea to your team or stakeholders. The anticipation and fear of negative feedback can be overwhelming.

However, by adopting a positive outlook, you reframe this scenario as an opportunity to innovate and drive progress, rather than a potential failure. You become excited to share your perspective and genuinely curious on how your audience will respond.

This shift in mindset is crucial, as it influences not only how you feel about your input but also the conviction with which you deliver it. It also helps you view speaking opportunities as platforms for growth and learning, making it easier to step into them with confidence.

Here are 4 action steps to support you in this:

→ Practice positive self-talk: Start your day or any speaking opportunity by affirming your strengths and the value you bring to your team. This can help set a positive tone and reduce anxiety. Replace thoughts like "I might say something stupid" with affirmations such as "My ideas are valuable and worth expressing."

→ Reflect on your past successes: Make a habit of jotting down successes and positive feedback you have received. Review these notes before meetings or presentations to remind yourself of your capabilities and impact.

→ Visualize success: Spend a few minutes visualizing a successful speaking experience, focusing on the positive reactions of your audience and the sense of achievement you feel. You can also use this to fuel back-up scenarios and your readiness level should things take a turn in a different direction.

→ Embrace growth opportunities: View each speaking opportunity as a chance to learn and grow. This mindset encourages you to take on new challenges with enthusiasm rather than worry.

Pro tip: You are the master of your own knowledge. Meaning, you are the closest to your area of the business so you know it best. Lean into this to boost your confidence in speaking up and see it as your duty to share instead of something to fear.

3/ Engage in active listening

Active listening is a crucial yet often overlooked component of confident communication, particularly in the workplace. It involves fully concentrating on what is being said rather than passively hearing the message of the speaker.

Engaging in active listening can significantly improve your ability to speak up with confidence, as it ensures you are responding to the essence of the conversation and contributing meaningfully.

For example, during team meetings, instead of preoccupying yourself with how you will articulate your next point, focus intently on the speaker's words, tone, and body language. This level of engagement helps you understand the nuances of the discussion, identify gaps where your input can add value, and spot opportunities to align your contributions with the objectives at hand.

Active listening turns communication into a dynamic exchange rather than a one-sided presentation, fostering a more inclusive and collaborative environment.

Implementing active listening in your communication strategy also positions you as a thoughtful and considerate participant. When you listen actively, you demonstrate respect for your colleagues' viewpoints, which can encourage a reciprocal openness to your ideas.

Additionally, this practice enhances your problem-solving skills. By fully understanding the challenges or goals presented by others, you can tailor your responses more effectively.

Imagine a scenario where a colleague is expressing concerns about a project deadline. By listening actively, you not only grasp the surface-level issue but also the underlying factors contributing to their concern. This level of understanding allows you to propose solutions or alternatives confidently, showcasing your leadership and initiative.

Peak performers recognize the importance of listening to understand, not simply listening to respond.

Here are 5 action steps to implement:

→ Focus on the speaker: Remove distractions and give the speaker your undivided attention. This signals respect and allows you to absorb the information more effectively.

→ Refrain from interrupting: Allow the speaker to finish their points before responding. Interrupting not only disrupts the flow of conversation but can also cause you to miss important details.

→ Clarify and summarize: After the speaker has finished, paraphrase their main points to confirm your understanding. This practice can reveal any misinterpretations and demonstrates your engagement. For example, following up with a statement like "So what I am hearing is that...".

→ Observe non-verbal cues: Pay attention to the speaker's body language and tone, as these can offer additional insights into their message and emotional state.

→ Respond thoughtfully: Use the information gathered through active listening to formulate your response. This approach ensures your contributions are relevant and constructive, while integrating the right details of what you heard.

By enhancing your active listening skills, you not only improve your ability to speak up with confidence but also contribute to creating a more empathetic and effective communication culture. This further enriches conversations and strengthens your relationships with others.

How will you choose to speak up?

Confidence is a muscle that grows with use. Each time you speak up, you are not just sharing your thoughts; you are also reinforcing your self-belief and your right to be heard. Own your voice, use it wisely and watch as you start to welcome more opportunities into your career.

You've got this!

This week's mission is aimed at helping you to speak up with confidence. Whether it is a presentation, a meeting, or a casual conversation, reflect on the below considerations and action them to create a new path forward for stronger communication skills.

1/ Focus on preparation and practice:

Select an upcoming meeting or presentation as your focus. Dedicate time to thoroughly research and outline your main points or contributions. Ensure your content is tailored to the audience's interests and the meeting's objectives.
Practice delivering your points out loud, either in front of a mirror or by recording yourself. Pay attention to your pacing, clarity, and non-verbal cues. Aim for at least 2 practice sessions before the actual event.

2/ Fuel the right mindset:

Begin each day of this week by writing down or verbally affirming 3 positive statements about your communication skills. Focus on strengths or past successes that highlight your ability to contribute valuable insights.
After each speaking opportunity, reflect on what went well, even if there were challenges.
Use this reflection to reinforce your positive mindset and identify areas for continued growth.

3/ Build the muscle of active listening:

In every meeting or conversation this week, consciously focus on fully listening to the speaker without planning your response while they are talking. Take notes if it helps you maintain focus and remember key points.
After the speaker finishes, summarize their main points back to them to ensure understanding before offering your response or contribution.

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